One area where I have been consistent...

...exercise. I've missed one day since December. I just finished round one of Liift 4 today. I'll start back on it again on Monday for round 2. I'll just try other workouts in the mean time.

I've been in a bit of a funk here lately. Lots of changes at work and I don't know how I feel about them. Hopefully it will all be for the best, but I don't feel optimistic. I love where I work and what I do, but I'm starting to remember the things I don't like about working there.

I can't just quit, because I need a consistent income. At least until I get out of debt, then I can reevaluate.

I've been exploring some options, but I still feel a bit stuck. If anyone would like to give me ten grand, that would like make my life right now lol.

musing

I think that I might need to limit my tv watching. Maybe I'll write about how much I love tv, but right now, suffice it to say: I love TV. A whole LOT.

but I think I'm watching a little too much right now, not focusing on things I need to focus on.

I'll limit it...once I finish The Good Place. I'm really into it right now lol.

oops part eleventy twelve

I totally thought about writing a post Monday, but it didn't actually come to fruition.

It's been a bit stressful. Inventory this weekend 😝.

Doing better with eating and still being consistent with exercise, so go me on that at least.

Will hopefully come up with good content soon.

struggling with consistency

So I missed posting yesterday. I have been working out consistently, but the past few days I haven't gotten up early for it. Food? I've been a garbage disposal. 

Gotta get completely back on track. No excuses.

What a day.

I tried making a vlog, but my life is pretty boring to be honest lol.

I woke up around 2 am, fell back asleep about an hour before my alarm, and was tired all day.

Work was...work. Bries came in out of date, which sucks that I won't get those sales but also can't say I'm mad about not having to make a bunch of take and bakes.

Finished season one of You which quite honestly was terrifying and makes me kind of ok that my cat is my valentine and also a little sad that no one has loved me that much, because I'm broken and fucked up.

Also Valentine's Day is a bullshit holiday. I'm not salty because I'm single. It really is a bullshit holiday.

A little wistful for last year. I had a good time then *wink*. But I fucked that up by catching feelings. Well, I admitted my feelings and he never responded, which we all know is a response in itself. Like, I knew he didn't reciprocate and that's fine. I said as much. But now we don't even really talk which sucks.

Got my workout in late today, leg day and kicked my ass. My legs are jello.

I didn't really get into what I said I was going to talk about, mainly because I don't really feel like gutting myself right now.

Actually, Friday would be the perfect day for that. I don't know. We'll see. I'm in an OK headspace, but a little fragile.

Oops.

I had the last post in my drafts and it was supposed to be published friday, but I forgot to schedule it. My bad.

Been having a little bout of the blues. Woke up yesterday with that familiar heavy exhaustion. Oh, hey depression. Been a minute.

It's not bad, though. Just mild. Little "hey, let's just sleep today and then eat an order of cheese bread and watch Netflix in the name of 'self care'." kinda thing.

Which is what I did, but then hated myself for it.

I've been working really hard to try and lose weight. I've lost a little. 10 lbs. It's so hard to lose, but dang easy to put on. Sigh.

Work is alright, but I feel a little threatened. It's a story I don't want to get into.

My cat is a precious floof, as she always is.

I guess part of my blahs are due to Valentine's Day coming up, we can talk about that on Wednesday! Lol.

Saw Birds of Prey Saturday. Loved it, but...

...I like Harley Quinn lol. I mentioned this in my IG stories, but while I wanted to be Wonder Woman growing up, I get Harley Quinn. I don't know what that says about me lol. 

Until Wednesday, ducklings. ✌

in my feelings

Badly Drawn Boy is my all-time favorite musical artist. I mean, The Hour of Bewilderbeast and Have You Fed the Fish? are sheer brilliance.

It's been about 8 years since he's released new music. I thought that might be it, that he was retired. And that's fine, you can't force creativity.

But he has a new song out and a new album coming out, which I have no doubt will be brilliant. Today, he went live on Instagram, just sitting in front of a piano, interacting with us and performing and I was just crying.

I mean, we take the internet for granted. I was just overwhelmed by watching my favorite artist who is in the UK, perform live for around 100 of his fans from around the world, and talk to us like were right there. Technology, it's crazy how far we have come. 

But if you aren't familiar with his work, go listen to him. He did the soundtrack to About a Boy too. The Shining is my personal favorite song of his. 

blah

It's been a day. Had to deal with a vendor being all up in my grill all day. Manager is leaving, which is a bummer because I really like her but I'm excited for her new opportunity. And my bff is coming over to the dept so that will be great. (For most. Some people will hate it) but I'm over today so much ugh

January review...

So my goal was to not spend any money during the month of January, aside from bills and necessities. 

I spent some money lol. But I did well overall--this really did make me consider exactly what I spend my money on and how I can budget better. It's been nice having money on payday, that's not a thing that usually happens.  

I bought a few things at Half Priced Bargains that, while I can definitely use it, I probably didn't need. I bought some marble cake protein powder from Arbonne. I definitely didn't need it, but it is pretty delicious. 

So I will definitely keep being more mindful of my spending. February, I think I will not eat any fast food. I'm trying to lose weight anyway, so it makes sense and works into saving money as well. 

Speaking of weight loss, I took my measurements and lost an inch and a half from my chest, waist, and thighs. Hips stayed the same. Gained a half inch in my biceps and calves. (cuz i'm gettin swole yo)

Still nervous to disrupt my routine. I'm serious, 2020 is a metamorphosis year for me.